So Damn Tired

I am tired. I am weary of struggling to be all things to all people. I am tired of being misunderstood and invalidated and ignored.  I am tired of feeling alone and beat down.  I know that when I am exhausted, it’s hard to find the strength it requires to always be positive and smiling.  It is difficult to accept today and look for a better future. The darkness I feel today engulfs and threatens to drown me in self-pity.

I realize that in these times of struggle it seems easier to give into the dark depression, go to bed and pull the covers over my head until the feeling pass.  However I also realize that just because things are difficult now doesn’t it will last. My situation won't be better today or tomorrow or a week from now.  But I am sure of change and that change is likely for the better.  As long as I stay the course, keep the ball in play, there is a possibility my goals will one day be obtained.  I will keep putting forward  the right foot, left foot and breath with the hope that my life will be mine again.

This is true for so many people.  Just keep fighting.  Left foot right foot breath, it doesn’t matter how small the steps are, and sometimes, often, the steps might be backward before they go forward, but the important thing is to keep moving.  Getting my head back in the game and trying to push through.